Do you remember when the internet was still a novelty, and everyone was really scared to tell anyone if they were at the grocery store, much less if they were out of state, leaving their home completely vacant and ripe for the picking? Well, now many of us have become foolish internet users and cavalierly share our every out-of-town move with both friends and strangers on social media sites like Instagram and Twitter. I suppose it’s all a part of our generation’s seeming need for instant feedback, whether it be in regards to the enjoyment of a(nother) beautiful sunset, a delicious pastry, or to brag about the sunny and warm weather I’m enjoying while my neighbors are at home shoveling their driveways. It’s like we can’t resist.

Well, maybe you’ve figured it out from my Instagram pictures geotagged at Sanibel Island with pictures of sandy beaches that would seem mighty out of place in Northeast Ohio right about now… but yep. I’m on vacation, kids! I’ll be down here with my family for two and a half weeks total before I go home, but right now Phil’s back at home holding down the fort. While I’ve been enjoying this #grabervacation with all of its perfect bike rides, delicious meals, walks on the beach, and games of volleyball, the internet has barely worked, and since I don’t have a smart phone, I’ve been ignoring the fact that you all exist and soaking in much more than the sun- I’ve been actually enjoying this time with family without the urge to take photos, Tweet clever or just plain ridiculous things, or to let anyone know how fun of a time I’ve been having. Until, now, I guess, but this doesn’t count because I’m only sharing one photo and there’s a moral to this story. Wait for it….

One night on this vacation, my brother, his girlfriend, and Phil joined me to a late night showing of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I’m always skeptical of remakes of favorite movies, but this one was more than a remake. It was a beautiful, incredibly thoughtful, and absolutely perfect remaking of the original Danny Kaye flick. I can’t gush enough about it, but I’m afraid if I tell you more about how I feel, this will be a never-ending post. So I’ll just say this. Walter Mitty lived a boring life until all of a sudden he experiences such beautiful, adventurous, and incredible things, but when they happen to him, he doesn’t even tell anyone about it. And it was a little frustrating to watch, honestly. But then I realized a part of the movie that wasn’t played up and didn’t hit the audience over the head with its meaning, but is so applicable to our modern lives. One of the minor characters encapsulates this great sentiment during a particularly powerful moment of the film. He’s a photographer chasing the elusive snow leopard, and finally gets the perfect shot in his viewfinder. But when it happens, he just looks at the snow leopard in awe, and doesn’t snap the picture. He says something to the effect that he would rather cherish the moment himself, treasuring it in his memory, than to take the photo and share it with the world. Sharing the moment would somehow defile it and shatter its perfection. After watching that scene, it occurred to me that Walter Mitty’s privacy about his amazing adventures was his way of cherishing them.

How many moments do I have that I don’t think, “Oh, I need to Tweet that- it’s hilarious!” Or, “Hmmm, I wonder what my Facebook friends would think about this?” Orrrr… here’s a good one- “Let’s try that again, only prettier, so I can post it on Instagram.” Moment. Ruined. This realization in conjunction with my lack of internet on this island has really made this vacation a great one so far. And it’s been a little reminder about how nice life is when I really, truly unplug. A new year is a great time to reconsider these things, isn’t it? I am resolving to consider less how my life appears on social media or even placing importance on sharing incredible or beautiful moments with my online friends. Life is full of little moments that are so fulfilling and are blessings given to us to enrich our time on earth. So here I am on a beautiful island with my family, watching my baby girl pick up her first shells and play in her first waves. And I’m only posting one picture on my blog. So maybe I’m not such a foolish internet user after all, eh?

I don’t know how it started. Somehow I got sucked in, and the next thing I knew, it was one in the morning. And I was glued to my computer screen looking at real estate websites, seriously considering what it would take to sell our house and buy a new one across town. This was only last week, but after a lot of soul searching, I’ve come to my senses. I think. You see, during that whirlwind romance with one special mid century modern home five miles away, I discovered a few things about how the culture around me has affected the way I view life. Maybe you feel the same.

The home I was admiring from in front of my computer was something we could easily afford, and it could use just the right amount of work, but not too much to intimidate someone like me. It had a sunken living room- something I’d always dreamed of, and have become increasingly obsessed with since Don and Megan Draper’s apartment in season five of Mad Men. I was literally laying awake thinking about how I would arrange the furniture, and what kind of flooring we would instal. After two days of this, I realized I had sunken back into my old habit. It was a bad habit that I thought I had outgrown when I learned I had cancer last year.

Facing your immortality after a cancer diagnosis can be a really great thing. You start analyzing your life, focusing in on things that are really important, and cutting out a lot of the stuff that just takes up extra space. I got real with myself and considered how much energy and hopes I tend to put into planning for my future. A future which isn’t even guaranteed to me. I spent many of my thoughts planning on what I would buy next, how we would decorate our living room when we had the money, how I would style my hair when it finally grew out, what clothes I would enjoy wearing when I lost weight, and how fun life would be when we started having children. So much of my life was wrapped up in planning for things, that I failed to fully enjoy the things that were happening right then.

Last week when I found myself unrealistically planning another house move- what could have been the fifth move in six years, I realized I was settling into my old ways of thinking. I had stopped enjoying our house, because I wanted to start planning out a new one. I was ready for the next project, a new challenge, and certainly a bit of an upgrade. Have I become addicted to redecorating and home planning? Has reading too many design blogs made me unhappy with the little home that we already have? Good golly, I think these are real issues that weren’t exactly deleted with my cancer-self-discoveries.

These days, with the influx of design blogs, accessibility to so much inspiration on Pinterest and elsewhere, it’s become increasingly normal to lead a discontented lifestyle. I’m not willing to give up on Pinterest or blogs altogether, but what kind of habits can I get into that will help me deal with my urges to upgrade and renovate? I don’t have the money for that kind of lifestyle, and it’s certainly not a healthy state to live in, emotionally speaking. For one, I’ve decided to stay off of real estate websites until we’re actually planning on making a move and the money’s in the bank. I don’t even want to be tempted, as fun as it is to see what’s out there. And something else I’d like to do is to enjoy time in my home, without looking around and thinking about what I want to change. It will take a lot of mental control to stop those thoughts from clouding my mind, but I think the effort will be worth it in the end.

So we’ll be in our house for a few more years at least. And I’m going to work on loving what we have, and admiring beautiful homes in magazines without allowing them to make mine feel inadequate. We don’t live in a magazine, and that’s okay. Our home is where life happens, and that’s why it’s special.

The Johnson family has was catapulted into a season of change when Lucy was born and I got my cancer diagnosis. 2013 seemed like the year our lives were thrown into the air, while we stood on the ground and waited to find out where the pieces would fall. Well, the year’s almost over, and finally we’re beginning to settle into a new season of life, and it feels pretty darn good.

This year I’ve been working on a lot of odd jobs, and began to really think about what kind of work would make me the happiest. I was doing photography, web design, blogging, selling on Etsy, writing for Babble, and balancing it all was exhausting! I came to the conclusion that I needed some kind of job outside the home. A job that didn’t require me to manage my productivity, e-mails, client demands, and that sort of thing. So when a friend of mine left her job at Starbucks, she offered to hook me up with her old position. So I said yes! It felt incredibly impulsive, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I only work about 15 hours a week there, just enough that the paycheck is helpful, but I don’t dread heading in to each shift. In fact, I sometimes look forward to it! And I love my coworkers and actually getting to be around real live people, without a computer screen in between us. It was a good opportunity that came along at the right time.

Also, after years of shooting photos for this blog, Phil finally joined me in my photography business this past Summer! I’ve been shooting freelance for a few years now, but now we shoot together as husband and wife, and the amount of stress that’s lifted from my mind is immense. I always know who my second shooter will be now, I know he’s great with people, and I know all of our equipment is compatible. Ahem. ;) We rebranded our business and created a new website for our photog biz called Ohio Fresh Photo.

In addition to photography, some of you might remember that I have worked with Freckled Nest doing web design work for a few years now. After my surgery in March, I slowed down my client load, and really enjoyed time away from client work. Freckled Nest is moving in a new direction, so we’ve all decided to move on to do our own things.

Writing for Babble was another job that came along at the right time, when I was finishing my cancer treatment and was spending a lot of time recuperating at home. It allowed me to work in my pajamas if necessary, and take care of Lucy and things on the homefront. It was a great opportunity, but when I was approached by the girls at A Beautiful Mess to become a contributor for their website, I had to say yes! I’ve always loved getting crafty and styling shoots, but this personal blog of mine never took off in a way that made such endeavors financially feasible. So working with Elsie and the gang is a dream come true!

It’s always a little awkward when I meet new people and they ask me what I do. My friends joke that I wear lots of hats. Literally and figuratively. But I’m beginning to start taking off some of those preverbal hats and streamlining my life a bit. I’m hoping to close down my Etsy shop, Fine & Dandy Vintage, to make room in our home and my life for other things. And after doing that, I’ll only have three jobs to lay claim to: Barista, photographer, and project creator for A Beautiful Mess. Whew! Ch-ch-changes! But I’m feelin’ good about it all.

Check out my first project for A Beautiful Mess- DIY Porcelain Holiday Tree Lights. They look so cute lit up in our home, and Lucy loves them!