Motherhood, Blogging, and Avoiding Mommy Blogging
Well, it’s true. I’m a mommy now. And I know what you’re thinking. Oh great, another mommy blogger! Just what the internet needed! Well, if you’re bracing yourself for lots of chubby-faced pictures (of course I refer to Lucy’s cubby face, not my own), you can brace yourself no longer and rest assured. I’ve got plans to continue blogging, but not as a mommy blogger! Sure, my blog has some evolving in its future, that much is unavoidable. But let’s talk a little bit about what my plans are for Making Nice in the Midwest.
I’ve always said I wouldn’t let the other parts of my life fade away into oblivion, as motherhood encroaches and makes its best attempts at pushing away my identity. No sir! I would keep up my hobbies, maintain my social life, and be fabulous all the while. But I can’t avoid the fact that my days are spent trying to sooth a screaming baby, keeping up with laundry, catching up on sleep, trying to somehow prepare food for our family, and attempting to keep our house somewhat tidy in the process. Oh, and that little thing called personal fashion? It’s a bit difficult to focus on when you’re covered in spit-up and your breasts are the size of cantaloupes Or watermelons, even! All of these things aren’t very exciting or glamorous, and probably not interesting to you guys at all. They’re very draining, though, and leave very little energy for much else. I had no idea this is what I should have expected from early motherhood!
Things should calm down a bit as Lucy settles into more of a regular sleep schedule, and I figure out how to balance things, but in the meantime it makes it difficult to find too much else to blog about. The truth is, cranking out new ideas and making time to fulfil them just doesn’t come as easily as it did in my pre-motherhood days. And I’m not planning on burning the candle at both ends, or being less of a mother to try to create a cutting edge blog.
I understand that many of you aren’t much interested in baby things. At all. Two years ago, I was that blog reader who quickly scrolled by the baby posts from some of my favorite bloggers. I just wasn’t interested. And to be honest, I’m still not super interested in baby talk. Though, there are those of you who are interested in seeing how Lucy is growing, what she’s wearing (diapers and sleepers so far! ha!), and how we’re getting along with a new baby in the house. So I’m really aiming to strike a balance.
In the past, I’ve always shared parts of my life on this blog, and now that Lucy is here, she is obviously a pretty big part of things. So, parenting talk and baby pictures will occassionally make an appearance here on Making Nice in the Midwest. But I’ll make sure to keep those kinds of posts sprinkled between the usual DIYs, fashion posts, and other fun stuff you’re used to seeing here.
Oh, and going along with the good mother bit…. I’ll be dialing back the blogging a little. I’ll still be here, of course, and I’ll still keep blogging. Just not every day as I was able to do in the past. And I hope you all will still follow along in the process!
oh dear miss mandi candi! it is truly understood that motherhood comes first, i would not want it to be any other way. cute little miss lucy needs her mommy A LOT and that is how it should be. sure we all LOVE LOVE LOVE to see whats going on and what new diy’s you have up your sleeve but we are not impatient readers.
i just hope, that when I have my little pumpkin, i will remember all that you have said in this post so as not to go completely crazy.
thank you for your honesty at all times, it is truly appreciated.
Hi Mandi! Over the years, your blog has easily become my favorite. I have wondered about how I would someday balance parenting and blogging without venturing into “mommy blogger” world. Once again, you’re a shining example of how to navigate situations with grace. I adore your space and will come back if you post once a day or once a month. Congratulations on the new little lady in your life!
Thank you, I appreciate your encouragement and affirmation so much!
Oh Mandy, if you manage to remain glamorous, have à social life, continue with diy projects and basically not lose yourself in THE big mum adventure, please do send me your secret!!! It is kind of hard to keep it all going, but definitaly it’s great to be aware of wanting to do so and trying it hard will make it happen. My boy is 3,5 now and I am working hard at keeping up with work and creative life, and set goals that are not all involving my lovely little boy.
Go for it!!!!
x x x
haha I knoooow, right? I know the first days (months? ha!) are pretty consuming. And that it will get a little better. But I’m a bit wiser now, and know that my notions of how motherhood would be…. well, they were a little off! I just don’t know how some women make it look so easy. Makes me wonder how they’re holding it all together emotionally, ya know?
Yeah, it’s a big question! How to hold it emotionally. Anyway, I will not mind seing little Lucy here and then, she is ever so cute and part of your life. I will continue following you closely, I really enjoy this blog. Please make a nice style feature about how to return a glam lady after the weard changes inma woman’s body ( and yes, breasts !!!) ;-) have a lovely weekend
i just have to chime in on the conversation – i’ve been reading your blog for years now and i really love it. i have to say i can relate to it now more than ever though. i have working on my own blog for quite awhile and our own baby girl is just a litte over 2.
i can. not. tell. you. how many times i’ve looked at other moms and thought – how are they doing this? they make it look so easy? i was 37 when i had marlo and i thought i was prepared for what it looked like (having so many mommy friends, having been a big sister to brothers born in my teens, having been a nanny, etc). however, it is SO different when you are the mom. it hit me like a ton of bricks the very first day we got home and i’ll admit i’m still trying to get my footing. <—–but don't let that discourage you because it DOES get better and easier, sure there are new challenges but those first couple months are definitely the hardest (so far!). i don't do well on little sleep, we had feeding issues and i was dealing with some very unrealistic expectations (self-imposed and from some well meaning family members).
anyway. didn't mean to write a mommy blog post here. i'm working to find my voice on my blog too. to avoid the mommy blog thing but to share my life in a way that engages readers. i know you will find yours because you are already doing a beautiful job. in fact as i read this post i was so impressed that a new mom had the energy and time and train of thought to put this together. so you are already doing great. good for you too for carving out space to deal with the emotional aspect (re: what you said above about how some women are holding it together emotionally). good for you for having goals to not lose your goals and sense of purpose in the process. i, too, am a Christian and i know the Lord will help you as you navigate these new times.
looking forward to seeing your blog evolve. i love reading your words.
I love you for this. I always told myself the EXACT SAME THING. “Don’t lose yourself to motherhood”.I have a three year old and even though he is the most important thing in my life, he’s not the ONLY thing in my life. I understand that people get incredibly excited when they finally become mothers and fathers, and they have every right to share their excitement as much as they want. That being said, I always get a bit frustrated when people seem to talk about NOTING except for their child as soon as their born. It’s so important to not lose who you are.
So, I’m with you!
<3
eek! i love you so much.
i completely understand all of this because even now my readers sometimes say stuff like, “please don’t ever become a mommy blog” and i am like, “calm downnnnn” ha! :) all those opinions kinda stress me out. especially since we’re not even expecting!
i think it’s great that more and more women are becoming moms without feeling the need to completely re-brand into a mommy blog. i mean, unless that’s what you want, of course!
i love your blog and i will look forward to both kinds of posts. for the record i think you would make an amazing mommy blogger, but that’s because you are pretty much good at everything… so it’s awesome that you want to incorporate both!
Aw, Elsie, I appreciate your encouragement so much! I do enjoy doing so many things, and hope that I can keep it all up as time goes on, with Lucy at my side. :) But I just had to be real and tell myself it was okay if everything was fewer and further in between. P.S. I think it’s really kind of awesome how people are concerned your blog will change- that means you are doing things really well right now, right?! :)
You can just be an everything lifestyle type of blog like I’ve been doing lately. I used to be a fashion only blogger but really wanted to write about my kids and life with them and my husband so I did it and figured those who cared would read and those who didn’t wouldn’t. I read lots of different blogs and love all of the various things you post.
I’m right there with ya, girl. I’ve seen some blogs that I used to read completely switch to all baby/motherhood all the time, and it’s a bit disappointing. I totally get that priorities shift, and that motherhood is an enormous part of a woman’s life, but I’ve always hoped, like you, that it wouldn’t change me into someone whose only identity was “mother.” I think one of the reasons I’m not ready to have any kids yet is that I’m full swing in that 20’s, independent, adventuring time and having a kid just kind of sounds like killing that person. Either way, we’re not planning on having kids for a few years.
More power to ya! You are awesome! I’m excited to see where your blog goes, and even excited to see little snippits of Lucy pop up!
This just hit the nail on the head for me! I’m still only halfway through my own pregnancy, but am already struggling to balance the “real life and blogging” thing. (Mostly because my mom is ill, so that is kind of sucking a lot of the creative time away that I used to devote to blogging. But I anticipate being a new mother will be similar!) One thing I have been determined to–long before I even thought seriously about trying to have a child–is that I don’t want to loose my identity (or my marriage) in my children. I think a lot of what you see with the “mommy blogs” is the extreme of seeming all-consuming, child-centered lifestyles (whether or not this is the case, it’s how it’s projected). That’s not me and never will be. I’m looking so forward to being a mother and having my own daughter to raise (found out this week it’s a girl!), but I’ll still be a unique personality apart from a mother and want to try to make time to invest in myself. I think it seems overwhelming those first few months when you’re adjusting to motherhood, but eventually one finds their stride and figures out their own path a little more clearly. :) I think you’re doing a great job, by the way, figuring out how to tweak blogging to reflect your current situation! Most of all, enjoy this precious time with your daughter–and blogging can take a bit of a backseat for now. ;)
Oh, and I really appreciate your honesty about new motherhood–I think so many people kind of gloss over how draining it can be. I had a small taste of that earlier this year when our new puppy was really ill and had to be cared for–but it was only a slice of what I’m sure it’s like to care for an infant. So thank you!
I love this. I’ve witnessed so many times new mothers getting lost in who they were before they were a mom and forgetting things that made them happy pre-babies. And now most of my friends now have babies and that’s the only topic that gets talked about when we get together.
Obviously, I (and hopefully all your other readers) know and are expecting you to share about your experiences as a new mother – and that’s great! But, I’m glad you are keeping up with the other stuff. It’ll be nice for non-moms like me to see that it’s possible to be a mom and do non-mom things still. ;)
I love your blog. SO much.
love this :)
Not burning your candle in both ends… so true. Take your time and make the most of early motherhood, the blog and your readers will still be here when you’ve got your energy back. I’m not a mother, but I still enjoy an occasional baby update and like you said, blogging is partly about sharing your personal life, and your cute little baby is of course a part of that now.
I just gave birth to my second daughter on Sept. 17. I know how it is to try and create and maintain a balance. My husband actually told me last night, “you used to have so much style. I couldn’t wait to see what you would come up with next. I think you’re in a rut.” This is coming from the man that I thought noticed nothing! After 12 years and 2 kids, I’m looking for some inspiration and it was so wonderful to see your little one’s picture! You CAN be fashionable, a mom, a friend, a wife… we’re super human! ;) Thanks for sharing about your baby. I’m new to following blogs, but after my husband’s loving statements, I felt the need to update my wardrobe (even though my boobs are bigger than canteloupes and i change shirts 3x a day!) Can’t wait to see your updates!
First off I am SO happy you are going to continue to blog (when you are abe:) AND on that note I must be the minority beause you could blog EVERYDAY with pics of Lucy and such and i would be in heaven…she is SO beautiful. I know some days are hard…fussy…don’t want to sleep and so on. BUT with that said they REALLY really grow up very fast!!! My youngest just graduated from highschool OMG it feels like yesterday she was Lucy’s size….ahhhhhhhhhh truly miss the babies!!!
This is such an honest post. Thanks so much for sharing. One of the reasons this is one of my favorite blogs, and also the one I recommend to people most often. We most certainly want to see Lucy grow but I admire your commitment to being a good blogger, who is also a mommy. We are all interested to see where motherhood takes you.
I am one of those people who loves seeing the baby pictures and hearing about your motherhood experiences! I hope you don’t feel pressured to blog or to blog about certain things and I hope you stay true to what you want to blog about without bowing to outside expectations! BUT I would love to see more of your adorable baby. ;)
I always love reading your blog Mandi. You’ve got such a fresh and honest take on life and fashion.
So, even though I don’t read mommy blogs, I’d still read yours if you chose to write about Lucy (who has the most fantastic eyes!).
x Elena @ Randomly Happy
I will chime in with perhaps a different point of view. (Maybe a little ‘ouch’ too, because yeah, I suppose I have a mommy blog and didn’t realize it was a reviled subculture. :-) We all go through seasons in our lives, a time for every purpose, so to speak. I don’t feel I have ever lost myself in motherhood. The journey of it has helped me discover who I truly am, what is lasting. I am a passionate and creative person who tends to take on all sorts of projects, but motherhood helps me focus on what contributes to my calling, and my true gifts. It creates the balance. I sense you have had a struggle in this rite of passage, and I hope you feel like you have the support and encouragement you need. It can be lonely when many of your friends haven’t started their families yet, and I pray that you have a network of people who understand. All that to say, your blog is a reflection of you. It is income as well, but if your heart is in whatever you post, people will read and be drawn to it. If folks get turned off from mommy posts, there is a huge demographic of fashion and style bloggers that they can read too. Blessings.
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